I’m really excited today, recappers. We’re diving into Season 1, Episode 2 of Little House on the Prairie, “Country Girls.” Ladies and gentlemen, Nellie Oleson is in the house! I was only ten when this episode aired in 1974, and while I may have seen it once or twice as a kid since then, it’s been decades.

If it’s not apparent, I haven’t watched Little House in decades. When choosing an older series to recap, I landed on this one because it would be like watching it anew since I didn’t catch it in reruns over the years. That said, I remember you, Nellie Oleson. And if there’s one thing I remember about the early days of Nellie, it’s that I loved me some Nellie Oleson comeuppance.

Fun Fact: Someone named “Nellie Oleson” didn’t exist in Laura Ingalls Wilder’s world. In her historical fiction series, Mrs. Wilder conjured up Nellie from three mean girls who made a not-so-positive impression: Nellie Owens, Genevieve Masters, and Stella Gilbert. Something else about me, I’m a bit of a Laura Ingalls Wilder geek and read everything about her I can get my hands on, so I may throw in some fun facts here and there.

Let’s get on with it, shall we?

The Ingalls Girls Go to School

Outside the little house on the prairie, Pa is playing with Jack, while inside, Ma gets breakfast going. Either muffins or biscuits—I’m not sure which. Could be a roll. It doesn’t matter. The family is having freshly baked carbs for breakfast. Ma calls Mary and Laura to breakfast. Mary is all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and dressed; Laura is still in bed, nightcap and all. Mary doesn’t want Laura to make them late on their first day of school, and Laura informs her she’s not going.

Downstairs, Ma is scraping something white and coagulated out of her cast iron pan and onto a plate while Mary rats out Laura. Pa promises to “see to it,” which means a good-natured lecture is about to happen.

An amused Pa climbs the ladder, sits on the bed, and asks Half-Pint what the matter is. Laura says she wants to stay home, and Pa says he wishes she could too, but he promised Ma. Way to sell out your wife as the baddie there, Pa. Laura tries to convince him by saying she’ll help with the fish traps. Good golly, Laura, fish traps are not a reason to stay home. Quit while you’re ahead. Pa guilts Laura by asking if she’s really going to make him break his promise to Ma. The guilt works—Laura’s going to school. Pa tells her she’ll like it. Laura isn’t convinced. Carrie smiles at everyone, which seems to be the only thing she does besides fall into tall grass.

Ma laments that the girls’ dresses aren’t long enough, and I would agree. They’re showing an awful lot of leg for 1800-whatever-it-is. Laura’s underwear shows the entire time. Ma presents Laura and Mary with her old schoolbooks and tells the girls to take care of them. Laura grabs the lunch pail, and they are off.

Country Girls

The girls make their way to town in no time, crossing the bridge to the schoolhouse. As the girls approach the schoolhouse, all the other children are running around and playing with each other. The girls argue over who will walk towards the crowd first, even though they are walking together.

As they approach, the kids all stop and stare. Laura says that from the sound of it, you’d think they’d come across a family of prairie chickens, and Mary admonishes her. Way to make an impression, Half Pint! A boy calls them “Long-legged snipes,” which I suppose is the Little House on the Prairie equivalent of shaming someone for wearing floods or high waters. The children all sing the long-legged snipes song while the teacher calls them in to school. As they file in, a snotty blonde girl looks at the Ingalls sisters and says, “country girls” as if that’s a bad thing. Between their dress lengths and home address, the girls are making a terrific first impression. Hanging their heads in shame, they also walk into the schoolhouse.

The girls remove their sunbonnets, and the teacher invites them in. All eyes are upon them as they walk to the front of the room. The teacher guesses they are the new girls from Plum Creek and introduces herself as Mrs. Beadle. Mary proceeds with the introductions. Laura and Snotty Blonde Girl stare daggers at each other, and I am here for it!

Looking at Snotty Blonde Girl, Laura informs the teacher that they have their own books, and Mrs. Beadle can see that Ma took good care of them. She asks about schooling, and Mary informs her that she can read. Laura whispers that she can’t read, but she knows the alphabet. Mrs. Beadle stands and asks the students to welcome the new students. The children emit a half-hearted “hello.” Mrs. Beadle isn’t feeling it and asks for more cowbell. Everyone but Snotty Blonde Girl welcomes the Ingalls sisters.

Mrs. Beadle lends Laura and Mary her slate, and Snotty Blonde Girl again says, “country girls” in her uppity tone. Mrs. Beadle announces that the kids are going to start with sums and asks a boy named Willie to start “by threes.” Willie begins writing his three plus threes on the blackboard, and Laura asks how he’s going to get those numbers off. Laughter ensues. Mrs. Beadle raps on her desk with her ruler and demands silence in her classroom.

Mrs. Beadle asks Willie to demonstrate how an eraser works, and Laura remarks that it’s clean as a whistle. Snotty Blonde Girl replies, “What did I tell you? Country Girls! Don’t even know what a blackboard is!” I’d like to see how well this chick does in the bougie New York City Gilded Age. They’d eat her for lunch. “Nellie!” says Mrs. Beadle in her strong voice. Snotty Blonde Girl now has a name, even though we already knew it. Please meet Nellie Oleson, the original prairie bi**th.

At home in the evening, Laura shares the new words she learned while Pa and Ma smile. There’s something to this learning after all! Pa prounounces it a fine day’s work and thinks that Laura likes school after all. Oh, she does, Pa.

Laura extols the virtues of Miss Beadle, the best teacher in the world. Laura thinks Miss Beadle is the most beautiful lady she has ever seen. Next to Ma, of course. Pa asked Mary about her day, and Mary thinks she has a new best friend named Christy. Pa asked Laura if there’s anyone at school she likes, and Laura informed him there’s someone she doesn’t like, that snippy Nellie Oleson! Ma puts on her stern voice.

Laura tells her parents about Nellie calling them country girls. Pa couldn’t understand what the problem was, since they are country girls. I couldn’t agree more, Pa. Laura said she wanted to smack Nellie good, which prompted Pa to put on his stern voice this time. Ma informs Laura that part of what she needs to learn is how to get on with others. Well said, Ma. Grudgingly, Laura agrees to try. Pa and Ma want better than trying. They want to see some doing unto others. No name-calling, no fighting, and no teasing. Laura gives out a “yes, sir,” and we can tell she’s not happy about it.

Pa gives the girls a coin and tells them to go to Oleson’s store before school and buy a slate and paper tablet. Mary is in awe of the riches that befell her. The girls thank their Pa.

After the girls are in bed, Ma wonders why Laura was so feisty about that Nellie Oleson, and Pa reminds Ma that she hasn’t met her mother. Something tells me this is happening sooner rather than later, Pa.

“The Meanest Girl That I Ever Did See!”

The next day, the girls head over to Oleson’s Mercantile. Mr. Oleson tells them he’ll be right with them as he writes something down, which is apparently more important than a paying customer. As the girls are waiting, Willie and Nellie Oleson come barreling down the stairs. Willie sings the “Long-Legged Snipes” song, and both kids raid the candy jars. Mr. Oleson protests, but clearly doesn’t have much sway over his spoiled brats.

After yelling at his kids, Mr. Oleson asks how he can help the girls. They tell him what they need.

Willie complains that Nellie is taking his candy. Nellie, looking at Laura and Mary, says, “Keep it. After all, it’s our candy, and we can have as much as we want.”

Mr. Oleson brings the girls their slate and paper tablet, and Pa’s money exactly covers it. Mr. Oleson tells them they’ll also need a slate pencil, which costs a penny. To which Nellie snarks, “I don’t think the country girls have it.”

Sorry, not sorry, Pa, but Laura would be well within her rights to slap this brat. Nels, using his outdoor voice, tells his kids to get out. Mr. Oleson offers to give the girls the slate pencil and says Pa can pay next time. But Laura and Mary aren’t feeling that. “No, sir. Cash on the barrel,” Laura says. Which is interesting considering how Pa tried to buy a plow and seed on credit in the last episode and had a hissy fit when his credit was declined.

The girls leave the mercantile and sit on the steps. “That Nellie Oleson is the meanest girl I ever did see,” says Mary. Harsh words, but well earned. “I could never be that mean!”

“I could,” Laura says. “Meaner!” And I believe it. The girls agree to use Mary’s Christmas penny to buy the slate pencil, and Laura will share her own Christmas penny with Mary. These are some good girls right here.

Ring Around the Recess

After a good day of learning, Laura sits by the creek with Jack as she reads and writes. “If I had a remembrance book…” Laura begins. Someone please get this girl a remembrance book, because this is like the third time she’s brought it up.

The next day at recess, Narrating Laura tells us recess is supposed to be fun, but Nellie won’t let them play anything except Ring Around the Rosy. I’m going to call it now: things are about to change. Laura reminds herself to “do unto others,” but wonders when Nellie’s Ma is going to teach her the same.

Cut to Ma walking into Oleson’s Mercantile with a basket of eggs. She introduces herself to Mr. Oleson—apparently, Pa already arranged to sell them eggs when we weren’t looking. As Mr. Oleson checks the basket, Mrs. Oleson emerges from her lurking position and announces that she does the buying. She remarks that Nellie told her all about Ma’s girls. “All good, I hope?” Ma says. No response.

Mrs. Oleson inspects the eggs—brown ones—and says they fetch four cents less. Mr. Oleson’s face says this is a lie, but does he speak up? Nope.

That night, Ma quietly sews. Pa senses something’s bothering her. Ma says she met Mrs. Oleson—and now understands Laura’s frustrations. Raising her voice to a decibel never before heard from Caroline Ingalls, Ma calls B.S. on the whole “brown eggs cost less” business. She says she heard Mrs. Oleson sell them for the same price as white eggs. Pa offers to talk to Mr. Oleson, but Ma declines—then Mrs. Oleson wouldn’t buy from her at all. I’d be selling them on the side of the road or keeping them for my family, but that’s just me. Ma says she’ll handle it—and she intends to win. Pa reminds her to “do unto others.” I’d have a few choice words for Pa after that, but Ma is a better woman than I am.

Back at school, more Ring Around the Rosy. One girl asks Laura why she doesn’t want to play.

“Why do we always have to play Ring Around the Rosy?” Laura asks.

“Because I say so,” says Nellie.

Laura starts singing “Uncle John Is Sick A-bed,” which I’m assuming is a different game. Nellie tells her to stop and shoves her. Twice. Laura shoves back. “You wanna fight? I’ll fight!” says Feisty Laura. “If you want to play, we’re playing Uncle John.”

At home, Laura confesses to “doing unto Nellie.” Pa is glad she came forward. He declares it justified—just this once. He makes Laura promise she won’t do it again. Laura says she won’t have to—Nellie’s scared of her now. Ma worries Laura isn’t the least bit sorry. This occasion calls for some fake fiddling!

Ma Does Unto Others

The next morning, basket in hand, Ma walks into Oleson’s Mercantile. Mrs. Oleson says she suspects Ma is there to apologize for what happened at school. In her firm voice, Ma says, “I’m here to sell eggs, Mrs. Oleson.”

Mrs. Oleson gets her “let me tell you something” on and tells Ma that Laura is a troublemaker and advises Ma that she best take her in hand. Ma suggests that Nellie hasn’t been entirely truthful, and Mrs. Olseon cuts her off by saying that brown eggs cost four cents less. Except there aren’t any brown eggs in the basket. Ma informs Mrs. Oleson that she sold the brown eggs to the men at the mill for three cents more than what Mrs. Oleson paid Ma. “That’s gratitude,” said Mrs. Oleson.

“No,” said Ma. “That’s good business.” Snaps for you, Ma!

Mrs.. Oleson suggests that the men at the mill might like Ma’s white eggs as well, and Ma said they would be glad to get them. A good day to Mrs. Oleson, and how satisfying was that? Mrs. Oleson said she’s too busy to quibble, and she’ll buy her brown eggs for the same price as the white.

Mr. Oleson is laying out some fabric, and Ma looks at a pretty pattern. Mrs. Oleson picks up something that resembles burlap and suggests that it would better suit Ma’s needs. Ma disagrees. Mrs. Oleson informs Ma that country folk have to be more practical, and I don’t know how Ma isn’t hauling off and decking her at this point. Ma takes a dress length even though it’s more than she can afford.

At home, Ma shows the girls her pretty fabric and says she doesn’t know what got into her, spending that much money on herself. Ma, if anyone deserves a new dress, it’s you. Ma said she’ll take it back, but the family convinces her that she will look beautiful in a new dress. Ma cries and faces the wall before turning and hugging her husband.

Narrating, Laura tells us that Ma gathers enough eggs to walk with the girls into town two or three times a week. Sometimes she tells the girls stories about when she was a little girl. But Laura can’t picture her as anything other than a mom.

Narrating Laura likes arithmetic and reading, but she’s not feeling the writing. Oh, you will, Laura, you will. Laura didn’t think she’d ever be able to write down the big words Mary did, not even with Ma to help her.

The girls run home from school, excited about the upcoming Visitor’s Day. The girls have to write an essay and inform Ma that she had better get busy on her new dress. The girls and Ma worked hard the whole week. Mary wrote an essay about Pa building the Little House on the Prairie. Laura’s essay is a surprise.

Laura is concerned that her essay isn’t going to be like Mary’s. Ma says it doesn’t have to be like Mary’s. Laura said she knows lots of words in her head. It comes out that Laura is afraid that everyone’s going to laugh at her. Ma said no one will laugh at her. Laura said they laughed at her when they called her and Mary long-legged snipes. And …uh oh.. I know what’s going to happen with Ma’s dress.

Pa wakes up, and no one is next to him. He calls out to Ma, who comes in, hair a-fright, and hopes the light isn’t disturbing him. Pa says it must be almost midnight, and she should come to bed. Ma says she will as soon as she’s finished.

Visitor’s Day

The next morning, the girls come down the ladder and sure enough, Ma comes out of her room, two new blue dresses in her hands. “Ma! You used your yard goods to make us dresses!” said Laura, who never gets by. Ma informs them that her brown dress is perfectly fine, and the girls have to get up in front of all those people.

And can I just say that once again, I called it?

At school, Willie Oleson reads an essay about riding horses and how his pa is going to buy him a pony. Nellie talks about how her house is the best in Walnut Grove with carpets and three sets of dishes and six oil paintings and their own rooms and boughten furniture. Mrs. Oleson claps wildly at her daughter’s essay.

Laura’s essay is about Ma. Laura recalled when she had the fever and Ma was up with her all night, and how she was there every time she opened her eyes. Laura says that her smile is the last thing she sees when she closes her eyes at night, and the first thing she wants to see in the morning. I’m about to start bawling. Ma is too. A thunderous applause for Laura. As the families exit the school, Mr. Oleson says that Mr. Ingalls is a lucky man.

Ma approaches Laura to say that what she “read” wasn’t really what she wrote, was it? Laura says it’s what she would have written if she could. Ma looks at Laura’s real essay, and Laura says that she thinks she should give that one to Mrs. Beadle. Ma and Pa, and Laura go back into the school.

Here’s what Laura’s essay really said:

“Ma is good, she works hard, she cooks, she sews.”

Mrs. Beadle looks at the paper and says that Laura’s spelling has improved, but her penmanship needs work.

Narrating Laura said that Ma was going to put their essays in a special box, where she kept her books and wedding dress, and she knew that she would never forget that special day.