If you grew up in an era when daytime TV was designed to scare kids straight with a side of harvest gold appliances and feathered hair, today’s recap is dedicated entirely to you. We are diving headfirst into one of the most delightfully dramatic artifacts of the late-seventies panic machine: the 1979 Emmy-winning ABC Afterschool Special, The Late Great Me: Story of a Teenage Alcoholic.
If you’re not familiar with the concept, gather ’round youngsters, for I have a tale to tell. A tale of afterschool lectures and cheesy story lines. A tale of your favorite, wholesome TV stars going out of character to play the wayward teen. A tale of the very special episode on steroids.
We haven’t done an ABC Afterschool Special in a minute, and we sure have a classic for you today. The Late Great Me: Story of a Teenage Alcoholic.
What is The Late Great Me: Story of a Teenage Alcoholic?
The Late Great Me is based on Sandra Scoppettone’s gritty 1976 YA novel; this 90-minute television event promised a serious look at youth addiction. What we actually got was a booze-soaked melodrama featuring a nearly 30-year-old actress pretending to be a 15-year-old high school sophomore, a terrifying near miss with a woodshop power saw, and, I’m told, a very young Ally Sheedy in her screen debut. Apparently she was uncredited and used in some of the high school scenes, but I haven’t been able to find her.
Whether you’re trying to verify that this fever dream of an educational PSA actually existed, or you’re just here for the nostalgia of cheap booze and busy wallpaper, pour yourself your beverage of choice, and pop a squat.
Let’s break down how one sip of cheap wine turned Geri Peters into a cat-murdering juicer.
Where is The Late Great Me Streaming?
The only place I could find The Late Great Me streaming is on YouTube. It’s a three-parter, annoyingly split-screened, with an anime video blogger called The Afterschool Specialist giving a silent, running commentary. I wish there were a better way. Anyway, if you want to give it a whirl, here is Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Cheers!
Anyway, let’s get started recapping The Late Great Me: Story of a Teenage Alcoholic.
The Late Great Me: Part 1
And…scene. Two women. Girls. A woman and a girl? I don’t know yet. Is this supposed to be high school? Maybe it’s the high school in the movie Grease where all the 30+ year olds went to.
The women/girls are walking into a room where a man is talking about the twelve steps. Ok. We must be in an AA meeting. One of the girls, Geri, played by Maia Danziger, looks a little nervous. Ah. The moderator guy is asking Geri to come up and tell her story. I guess we’re doing this in flashback mode. Geri’s friend gives her a reassuring pat as she walks to the front of the room to the sound of applause and melodramatic music.
Here’s the thing. Maia Danziger was 29 when she filmed The Late Great Me. The friend that she’s with appears to be the same age or maybe a little older. So I can’t tell if these are two friends, a mother and a daughter, or what have you. I’m going with two friends until it’s proven otherwise.
Fun Fact: Not only did Maia Daniziger win an Emmy for The Late Great Me, but the ABC Afterschool Special itself won a total of five Emmies. Outstanding Writing in Children’s Programming, Outstanding Directing in Children’s Programming, Outstanding Film Editing in Children’s Programming, and Outstanding Children’s Entertainment Special. I knew that before the Afterschool Specialist shared that tidbit because I read IMDB before recapping. Moving on…
Geri tells everyone her name is “Geri” and that she’s an alcoholic, and she’s about to tell everyone what happened to her. I’m all ears. Geri tells the room that she started drinking a little over a year ago when she was 28…I mean…15 years old. She goes on to say that she goes to school here in town, the generically named “Central High.” She had a boring summer, and she was actually looking forward to the start of school.
First Day of School for The Late Great Me
As she narrates, we see her, presumably a year ago, standing in front of a mirror doing her hair. It must be the first day of school. Her cat meows, and she tells Sophie, the cat’s name is Sophie, not to say a word. She thinks her shirt is the pits, and Beverly Mayor wouldn’t be caught dead in that (plaid) shirt. Going back into her closet, she tells Sophie that she knows what she’s thinking, that Geri looks like a refugee from the planet of the apes. She changes into another equally unfortunate plaid shirt. Geri’s wardrobe throughout this ABC Afterschool Special is a big disappointment.
Geri is buttoning up as her mother walks into her room and gives her the “are you really going to wear that,” and “you could be really attractive if you tried,” business. I think we can see why Geri begins drinking. I’d want to escape too, if my first greeting of the morning was to tell me how bad I look.
We’re at school now. Geri walks up to a group of students, intent on talking to a handsome boy who is telling the group about a bear approaching a field where he was camping. She pushes in and asks the boy if he had a good summer. He says “yeah,” and is encouraged by another girl to continue talking. Discouraged, Geri walks away.
Geri Meets a Boy
Inside school, Geri is leaning against a locker when a guy in a plaid shirt walks up to her. It must be fate. He asks Geri where he can get a locker, and she tells him it’s on his orientation form. He tells her he’ll see her around and walks away.
At lunch, Geri’s friend is talking about how Dan something or other actually said six words to he today! Geri mentions that he only said two words to her. Geri tells her friends she has the cafeteria figured out. She points out a popular couple and their fan club, moves along to “juicers” or winos, and then settles on her own table and calls them all “freaks.”
The guy in the plaid shirt stops by the table, and Geri asks him if he found his locker yet. Indeed he has, and he introduces himself as Dave Townsend (Charley Lang). Geri introduces the table but forgets to tell him her name. He asks, and she tells him, and she awkwardly looks down. He tells her he wanted to stop by and say thanks for helping him.
After Dave walks away, Geri’s friends mention that he’s cute and he looks like he’s 16 years old! In reality, Charley Lang was 24 when he acted in the Late, Great Me. So this IS that high school from Grease. Geri mentions how dumb she looked forgetting her own name. The bell rings, and as Geri exits, her friends again remark on how cute he was.
After school, Dave approaches Geri and mentions again how nice she was to him. He wonders if she wouldn’t like to show him around town tonight. He tells her his wheels are in the shop and they arrange to meet at the library. 15-year-old me would never have been allowed to meet a boy on a school night. As he walks away, she asks him how she’ll recognize him.
Wait? What? Haven’t they already met?
Dave tells Geri he’ll be the one with the carrot in his ear, and it hits me that I actually read The Late Great Me as a teenager. I am triggered into remembering the carrot in the ear scenario.
At home, Geri’s mom tells her she has a 4:30 hair appointment, and then she’s going to a party at the Martins’. Geri’s Mom (Teri Keane) asks how school was and if Geri made any new friends. Geri says about 20 or 30, but it’s only the first day. Geri’s mom thinks Geri needs to make more friends than she has now, because the more friends you have, the more fun you have, and high school’s the time to have fun.
In Which We Learn Geri’s Family Are a Bunch of Jerks
Geri’s Mom asks Geri if she can help her with dinner, but Geri declines and tells her that she has a date. This is good news for Geri’s Mom, who wants to take Geri with her to the hairdresser. Remember when we called them hairdressers instead of stylists?
Geri tells her mother that it’s not that kind of date. It’s just the new guy at school who wants to show her around. Geri’s Mom’s first date was with a football player. As she tells Geri about it, Geri rolls her eyes, and her mom tells her not to look so bored. Anyway, his name was Artie O’Connor, and he was the most popular boy in school.
Geri tells her mom that Dave hasn’t been around long enough to be popular, and being seen with her will spoil any chance he ever had. Her mother tells her that if she thinks she’s unpopular, she’s going to BE unpopular. So profound. She needs to be more like her brother and think positively. Mom runs off to her hair appointment.
It must be close to 7:00 because Geri’s parents are getting ready for their party. Geri looks in, and her mother, again, doesn’t approve of her outfit. Someone, who I assume is Geri’s popular brother, is calling for her to hurry up. Geri’s Dad wants to know why Dave isn’t picking her up, and she tells him his car is in the shop. He wants to know why they’re not waiting until the weekend, and Geri says they don’t really have any homework. Mom butts in and says she permitted Geri to go on the date, but she has to be back by 10. Geri’s brother yells again, and she kisses her mother and runs out. “She’d look so pretty,” Mom says to Dad. “If she would only try to.”
And we now come upon reason two that justifies Geri’s alcoholism. Her brother (played by Knott’s Landing’s Al Corley) pulls up in front of the library, sees Dave, and asks Geri if that’s the best she can do. Then he tells her the freaks are getting freakier every day. Really, what a d**k.
The Boy With a Carrot in His Ear
As Dave and Geri walk, we notice two things. One, Dave has a bottle-shaped paper bag. The other is that he does, indeed, have a carrot sticking out of his ear, and Geri recognized him before she even noticed the carrot.
I definitely read The Late Great Me when I was a teen or a tween or something.
Dave said that seeing her face when she got out of the car, she looked pretty embarrassed. Then he leans into a doorway, opens up his bottle of booze, and asks her if she wants to try some. If you read some of my other recaps here, you would know how I feel about backwash and sharing drinks, so I’m kind of skeeved at the thought of them sharing a bottle, even though I’m sure I did the same thing back in the day. Geri declines. Dave wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and they continue walking. But it’s kind of tacky bringing out the bottle before they even get down the block.
As they walk along a very dark, I think, park trail, Geri mentions the carrot that is still in Dave’s ear, which he stuck in there with gum. Gross. Dave is starting to lose points with me. He asks Geri if she’s nervous, and she says a little. He tells her that he, too, is a little nervous and uptight, and the booze makes things a little easier. She thanks him and says she doesn’t drink. He says there’s always a first time. Geri says she’s never been with someone who drinks, and he tells her that he doesn’t lose control or anything. Then he says he bets her parents drink. Geri says they have a cocktail every night, and Dave says everyone does. He’s a little pushy, this Dave. He takes a swig and says it’s good for first dates.
Geri takes the bottle and has a drink. Dave asks her if she likes it, and she says that it’s ok. He says he bought it for her, and he usually drinks this – and takes out a square bottle of something clear. Geri tells Dave that what I assume is wine tastes nice and it makes her feel warm. Dave says that he likes her; he likes the way she forgot to tell him her name and that she’s really cute. He raises his bottle and says Here’s to good times. “Good times,” she whispers and takes another sip.
This may be one of the most cringeworthy TV dates I’ve ever witnessed. The two of them drink in silence, and then they fade out.
Drinking in School
At home, Geri enters her room and dreamily says to her cat, “What a night. I was alone with a boy. A whole evening and I wasn’t even scared.” She tells her cat that he drinks a lot, but she thinks it’s cool. She also tells her cat that she even had a drink and that it helped her relax, and that he likes her.
The next day, in school, Dave is at his newly acquired locker and calls out to Geri. He thanks her for showing him around, and they both say they had a good time. He reaches into his locker, brings out a thermos, and asks her if he wants some – punch with a little extra punch. Geri says no thanks. She woke up with a headache. He said it was her first time, that’s all. She said she felt great until she woke up. He again points the thermos at her and says it’s good for hangovers too. That old chestnut? No, it isn’t.
Geri tells Dave that he shouldn’t drink in school, that they’ll get kicked out. He says he won’t get caught and sprays a bit of Binaca Blast (remember that) into his mouth.
I don’t know about Geri, but the late, great ME would have started distancing myself from Dave. Not so much that he had to drink all the time, which is a red flag in and of itself. But because he wanted ME to drink so bad, if that makes sense. I’m not a prude, and I did a fair share of partying in my teens, but that was on my terms. Not because someone had to pressure me.
Anyway, back to school. Dave asks Geri what she’s doing on Saturday night, and she says she’s going to Carolyn’s. They watch TV together. Dave invites himself over, and Geri guesses that will be OK. As he walks away, Geri smiles. A boy likes her.
TV Night at Carolyn’s
Geri and her friends are watching TV at Carolyn’s when Dave knocks on the door. Carolyn asks what he’s doing there, and Geri says she invited him. Not cool not asking the host, Geri. Her other friend, the unfortunately initialed BJ, informs her that he’s not sleeping over. Dave asks what they’re watching, and when she tells him it’s figure skating, he says it’s not his thing. Rude.
He acts even ruder by walking straight up to Carolyn’s parents’ bar and helping himself. I mean, no asking or anything. Carolyn and BJ are not looking pleased. Carolyn asks if they’re going to join them, and Dave tells him they have something better to do. She asks what that’s supposed to mean, and he says it means drinks. Geri doesn’t like her pour and wants to try something else, but the ever-so-experienced Dave tells her to stick with one type of alcohol so she doesn’t get sick. He asks Carolyn what she wants, and she’s going to try rum.
BJ wants to know why they just can’t watch TV the way they usually do. Geri tells her if she wants to stay a kid all her life, that’s her privilege. They like this drinking better.
An undisclosed period of time later, Geri and Dave are stumbling out of Carolyn’s house. Dave picks up Geri and swings her around, which I’m guessing isn’t the best thing to do when one is intoxicated. He puts Geri in the back of a creepy red van. I guess his wheels are fixed. Dave kisses Geri, and she looks about to pass out. She asks him where he came from, and he tells her Mars. He tells her they were living in the city and they don’t stay anywhere too long. Geri wants to know why not, and he tells her that that’s just the way it is. Geri falls asleep with her head on his shoulder.
Geri comes home the next day, and her mother asks where she was all night and that she looks terrible. Geri says that she was at Carolyn’s and they stayed up all night talking. Geri’s mother forgets what it’s like being a teenager and asks what could possibly keep them up all night talking.
Geri goes to bed and asks Sophie to please be kind. She says she feels terrible. She lied to both of them. She tells Sophie it’s awful. She never really lied to them before.
And so our ABC After School Specialist tells us we are done with part one.
The Late Great Me: Part 2
We are now watching the second of three parts of The Late Great Me: Story of a Teenage Alcoholic. The ABC Afterschool Specialist is also watching in silent judgment.
We are having dinner, and Mom asks Geri if she told her father she’s going to a dance. A lot of stuff happens off-screen in this movie. Geri isn’t looking very excited and says it’s no big deal. Mom begs to differ and offers to take Geri shopping for a new dress. Geri tells her mom that everyone is wearing jeans and she has a bigger problem. She doesn’t know how to dance. Her mother says that she’s always dancing with her friends, but Geri thinks they’re always laughing at her for being a klutz. Her dad suggests her d**khead brother help her; he’s a pretty good dancer. Because, of course he is. Her brother, not surprisingly, isn’t feeling it, but Mom insists. Dad exits to catch the news.
Geri and Dave Drinking in the Creepy Red Van
I guess it’s the day of the dance, and the happy couple is in Dave’s creepy red van. Dave pulls up and hands Geri a soda can and tells her to pour out half. While she does that, Dave confesses. He can’t dance. Geri laughs and admits she can’t dance either. Then he begins to pour alcohol in their half-empty soda cans. He hands a can to Geri, who says that the drink is pretty strong. Dave says that it makes it easier to walk in.
Dave makes some weird faces and says something I can’t quite get about his situation and changing schools all the time. Geri asks him why, and he says that his mother is a drunk. Geri wants to know why he didn’t tell her that before. He said he didn’t want her to know. Wherever they live, sooner or later people find out about her. She loses her job. And they take off.
Geri asks about Dave’s dad, and he tells her he split when he was nine. She apologizes, but Dave says it’s ok. They used to fight about everything all the time anyway. He says his mother’s all right; she just can’t handle the booze. Geri asks Dave if he thinks he’ll get like that, and he says he can handle it and he’s going to quit when he’s 18. She fishes for compliments and asks if she looks ok, and Dave says she looks great. Geri tells him he makes her feel great when he says that. They take their cans and exit the creepy van.
Geri and Dave “Dance”
Inside, there’s lots of awkward teenage dancing, and Geri’s brother, who really isn’t all that, is clapping as he dances. Dave suggests they go up and say hello to their teachers who are chaperoning, so they don’t suspect a thing.
Oh. Ok. Earlier in this recap, I suggested that Geri was walking into her AA meeting with another 30-year-old teenager, but she was actually with her teacher, Miss Laine, and more of the book, The Late Great Me, is coming back to me now. I’m pretty sure I never saw this on TV, but I definitely remember reading the book. One of the male chaperones turns to Miss Laine and says, “Who do they think they’re fooling?”
On the dance floor, Geri and Dave are loud and taking up a lot of space. They are having the time of their lives, but everyone else is also noticing that they’re a little off. Even Geri’s brother is finally looking a little concerned. Miss Laine is looking a little judgey.
Queen of the Dance
Dave drops off Geri at home, drinking and driving, obviously. And even with the poor quality of this video, I can see that she is wearing a very unfortunate sweater this time. She is happy and has the look of someone who may be in love. Instead of going in the front door, Geri stumbles around the back. She quietly runs up the stairs to the bathroom and pours herself some mouthwash because no one would suspect anything with that minty fresh breath after being out all night. She goes back down the stairs and pretends to come in the front door.
Geri’s Mom asks her how the dance went, and Geri said it was great. Just like a movie. Mind you, I can’t tell if Geri is actually slurring her words or if this is the way the actress who portrays her really talks. I’ve had these moments throughout this ABC Afterschool Special. She continues, embellishing, and says that when she and Dave danced, everyone stopped to watch and made this big circle around them. She was queen of the dance! All the boys wanted to dance with her. Her mom is ever so proud. “And you thought you couldn’t dance,” she reminds her. See what she can do when she really tries? Only one thing. Geri forgot that there were witnesses to her behavior.
Confrontation
The next morning, Geri comes down and grabs a soda out of the fridge. Her mother is sitting at the table. Not looking too happy. “Do you think the Queen of the Dance should be drinking soda the first thing in the morning?” She asks Geri, who tells her mom she’s thirsty. Geri’s mom wants to know why she lied to her. Geri said she didn’t lie. She exaggerated. Jack told her what really happened. She only danced with Dave, and it looked more like she was falling all over herself than dancing. “So what?” Geri asks. As she does, a car honks rudely outside. I’m thinking that must be Rude Dave. Geri’s Mom blocks her way and says she wants an explanation. Geri tells her she doesn’t care what Jack said. She liked dancing, and she thought she was good at it.
Using her outdoor voice, she tells her mother that she told her what she wanted to hear, and that it made her (Mom) happy. That she even said she was proud of her, and she never said that before. Geri continues yelling. Her mother is always so proud of Jack, but nothing she ever does is good enough. She was just telling her what she wants to hear. As Geri exits in a huff, Dave gets out of his creepy van, waves to Geri’s mom, and tells her that he won’t get her home late.
Kept After Class
An undisclosed period of time later, and we are in art class. Miss Laine is the art teacher. As she critiques each student, she asks Geri if she sees what she’s doing. Geri tells her she’s drawing her picture. Miss Laine asks her to see her after class.
Miss Laine tells Geri she’s been meaning to speak with her for a while. That she’s changed in the last four months. And it’s true. Geri is looking really washed up right now. She asks Geri if everything is all right, and Geri tells her she has a lot on her mind. She asks if she can help, and Geri says no. Miss Laine goes on to say that she has a lot of faith in her gifts, and she doesn’t want to see her lose them. Geri tells her she’s doing the best she can, and Miss Laine thinks they both know better. Geri asks for a pass since she is late for her next class, and Miss Laine lets her know she’s there for her if she needs someone to talk to.
When she leaves class, BJ and Carolyn are waiting outside. They were asking why Geri was held after class. Geri said it was so stupid. BJ asks if it was about her drinking, and Geri yells that she doesn’t have to tell her everything and pushes her away. Carolyn tells BJ she shouldn’t have said that.
Christmas With the Juicers
Geri and Dave pull up to someone’s house in the creepy van. Geri tells Dave that she doesn’t want to go to this Christmas party and she’d rather it was just the two of them. Dave tells her they’re just people. Geri says that they’re juicers, and Dave laughs and says, “What do you think we are?” He’s not wrong. Geri looks like she’s been hit with a reality check, but only briefly. Outside of The Late Great Me, I have never heard of a high school clique called “juicers.” We might refer to an individual as an “alky,” and there were definitely “burnouts,” people who smoked a lot of weed, but I don’t ever remember a clique devoted solely to alcoholism. Feel free to correct me on that.
Anyway, they’re ringing the doorbell. A very enthusiastic girl welcomes them and drags Dave away. People are dancing or making out on the couch. Alone, Geri walks over to the bar, eats a chip, and grabs something to drink.
Jack Plays The Very Late, Great, Big Brother
An undisclosed period of time later, Geri is in bed. Her brother walks in without knocking and, in an uncharacteristically nice voice, tells her it’s time to wake up for school. He also wants to know why that cat only sleeps with Geri. Cranky Geri says she doesn’t know. Why doesn’t he ask the cat? Geri is obviously hungover.
Jack, Geri’s brother’s name is Jack, picks up a drawing from the bed and suggests that she’s losing her touch. She used to really be good. He said she’s been stoned for days, and she’s been doing that a lot.”Doing what?” Geri asks. Her brother tells her she’s been drinking, and he’s not stupid. He sees her hanging around with the juicers. Does she know what that can do to her? Alcohol can rot her liver. Geri cuts him off and says she doesn’t want any lectures. Jack gets up and tells her that stuff can kill her. Geri tells him to just leave her alone, and he does. So I guess Jeri is now in with the juicers after that party.
Geri sits up and looks at her artwork. It really is bad. She goes into the bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror before fake vomiting into the sink. She’s not a very good fake vomiter.
Date Night for the Juicers
Dave, Geri, and another couple stumble into a restaurant. Obviously intoxicated. Geri is loudly asking why they can’t go somewhere where someone will serve them a drink. Dave tells her that no one will serve her a drink anyway. They laugh.
A patron at the restaurant looks up. It’s Miss Laine looking very alarmed at the loud, obnoxious, drunken display in front of her. Drunk Geri mumbles something about Miss Laine following her around and takes off her shoe and throws it across the restaurant at her. Geri walks over to Miss Laine’s date(?) and asks if he’s her lover boy. Miss Laine explains that Geri is one of her students. Geri tells her that her art class stinks. It’s the pits. And Dave finally comes and drags her away. Geri yells at him to let go of her; she doesn’t want to go. Miss Laine apologizes to her date.
Mom and Dad Find Out. Finally.
Back at home, Geri stumbles into the house, laughing, and tries to get up the stairs, but she can’t because she’s too drunk. Her father turns on the light and wants to know what’s going on. Geri’s mother comes down the stairs, and her father says that “this girl is dead drunk.” I mean, how long did it take them to notice that there’s a problem here? Geri’s mom says that this is what happens with Dave, and Geri slurs that it has nothing to do with Dave. Dave is great. Her parents tell her to go to bed, and she screams and fights them off, yelling that she doesn’t want to go to bed.
In the struggle, Geri knocks over a lamp that lands on top of Sophie, and Sophie runs off. Soon after, outside, we hear someone leaning on a car horn and then the screech of tires as they slam on the brakes. Oh snap! I think someone ran over Sophie.
And so Part 2 of The Late Great Me: Story of a Teenage Alcoholic comes to an end.
The Late Great Me: Part 3
The ABC Afterschool Specialist is back and welcomes us to Part 3 of The Late Great Me: Story of a Teenage Alcoholic. We’re in the final stretch, cheesy 70s TV fans.
The next morning, Geri is walking down the stairs, looking wretched as one does when they drink a lot. Her plaid shirt is a lot more subtle than the last few she had on. She goes into the kitchen, and her very upset family is there. Waiting.
Geri grabs a soda out of the fridge- no lecture about it from Mom this morning, and her father tells her to come and sit down. That little round table barely has room for three, and they’re about to squeeze in a fourth.
I spoke too soon. Geri’s Mom tells her she shouldn’t be drinking a soda so early in the morning.
Pour One Out for Sophie
Jack is angry. He demands his parents say something, or he will. Her father, A/k/a Captain Obvious, points out that Geri was very drunk last night. His father says it was the first time she was drunk, isn’t it, and Jack rolls his eyes, and Geri asks if he has to be there. Her father goes on to say that Jack is part of the family and he suffered a loss too. Crap. We really did lose Sophie.
Geri’s dad wants to know who she was with and where she was when she got drunk. Geri said it doesn’t matter. She was drunk because she had too much to drink, and she starts crying. Jack isn’t buying the drama and says, “Come on…” while his dad asks him to be quiet.
Dad continues and says that everyone gets drunk once when they’re young, but she’s too young. Now, she’s had her experience, and he hopes it taught her a lesson. Geri continues crying as he says it’s a shame that Sophie had to die to teach her that lesson. Geri says she’s sorry, and Jack says that sorry isn’t going to bring back Sophie.
Geri asks him what he wants from her, and he yells that he wants her to tell the truth because her parents think it’s the first time she got drunk. Geri yells back that she never got drunk before in her life, and Jack tells his dad that she’s conning him. Jack may be a d**k, but he’s also correct. He yells “liar!” before storming out of the room.
Geri’s Mom asks if she’s lying and Geri tells her that she always believes everything Jack tells them. Doesn’t anyone think she feels awful about Sophie when Sophie was her friend more than anyone else? She yells that Sophie was the only one in this dumb house that she can talk to, before making her own dramatic exit.
The Interventions Continue
We are back at art class, and BJ and Carolyn give each other a look before approaching Geri. They ask Geri if she’s all right, and Geri wishes that everyone would stop asking her that question. Carolyn says that when Geri called her last night, she sounded really weird and asked if Sophie was really dead. Geri snaps back that she didn’t call her last night. She said that Sophie is dead and it’s none of her business.
BJ reaches out to her and says they’re worried about her, and Geri pushes her away.
As Geri attempts to make yet another dramatic exit, Miss Laine stops her and tells her she wants to talk to her about what happened Saturday night. As the students exit, Miss Laine tells her that she understands her problem. Geri wants to know what problem, and Miss Laine says her drinking problem. Geri says she was drunk Saturday, and there’s no point in denying it because it was the most awful night of her life. She said she’s sorry, but if Miss Laine thinks she makes it a habit of that kind of thing, she’s wrong.
Miss Laine Has a Confession to Make
“Am I?” Miss Laine asks. Geri says that she doesn’t go around making a public nuisance of herself. Miss Laine is sure. But she’s talking about Geri’s drunkenness and not her behavior. She then says that before Geri says anything else, she wants to tell her something. And she’s taking a chance on telling her that something, but there may come a time when it’s helpful for her to know. it. Since I read The Late Great Me, I know where this is going.
Miss Laine tells Geri that she’s an alcoholic. She’s not a drinking alcoholic. Geri asks her how she can be an alcoholic if she doesn’t drink, and Miss Laine tells her that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. It’s a disease. It can’t be cured. It can be rested by not drinking. She hasn’t had a drink for years, but if she were to drink now, she’d get drunk again.
Geri asks Miss Laine if she’s trying to tell her she thinks she’s an alcoholic, and Miss Laine tells her she has to figure that out for herself. The signs are there, and she thinks she may have a problem with alcohol. Not just because of Saturday night. She’s watched her change over the year. And she knows she’s come to her class “high.” She tells Geri not to deny it. She knows what she’s talking about when it comes to drinking. She’s been there. Geri says that she’s trying to make a whole lot out of nothing. Miss Laine says that she just wants to help. She gives Geri her home number and tells her to feel free to call.
Maybe Quitting Drinking
Back in the creeper van, Dave passes a bottle to Geri, but she tells him she can’t anymore and she has to stop. She says that if she wasn’t so drunk on Saturday night, Sophie would still be alive. Dave tells her that crazy things happen and not to go getting drippy about it. She tells him that she’s worried that the minute she tells him she wants to stop drinking, he won’t want to be with her anymore. He snaps that it’s none of his business. Geri wants him to know that she will still be fun to be with even if she doesn’t drink. She cries, and Dave tells her in a nicer voice to stop carrying on about Sophie. She continues crying, and he tells her there’s nothing she can do about it. Harsh. Geri looks like she’s in agony for a minute, and I think she says, “Is it too late to drink?”
In bed, Geri replays her conversation with Carolyn in her head. Who does Carolyn think she’s kidding? She never called her last night. She also wants to know if Sophie can hear her and tells her that she misses her.
Maybe Not
An undisclosed period of time later, a visibly drunk and wretched-looking Geri is walking the halls in school. Miss Laine spots her and asks if she’s ok. Geri says she never felt better. Miss Laine says that Geri doesn’t remember; does she? “Remember what?” Geri asks. Apparently, Geri made another blackout drunk phone call, this time to Miss Laine. Geri said it wasn’t her. It must have been someone else.
Miss Laine says that it was her and was drunk. Geri gets belligerent, and when Miss Laine asks what she’s supposed to do when she calls her, she responds that she doesn’t care what she does. She should change her number. She also said that if Miss Laine doesn’t leave her alone, she’s going to tell everyone she’s a drunk.
Geri now has a thermos of her own in her locker and takes a nice, long swig before her next class. She stumbles into woodshop and goes straight to a saw. Her teacher tells her that there’s no way she’s operating a saw in her condition and sends her to her counselor. Still belligerent, Geri tells her that her parents pay taxes and she has a right to that saw. Her teacher tells her to get to her counselor. She is not using the equipment. She salutes him and says, “You bet.”
She went home instead, and her mother tells her the school called. “Now what happened?” She asks Geri. Geri laughs in her face and goes up the stairs.
Meeting at School
Let’s assume it’s the next day. Geri’s parents are in a room with Geri, Miss Laine, the shop teacher, and a man who we’ll assume is Geri’s guidance counselor. “Are you telling me my daughter is an alcoholic?” Geri’s dad asks.”Your daughter smells like a brewery,” the shop teacher tells him. “And she’s risking losing a finger in his class.” The counselor tells the shop teacher that they all agree he did the right thing. He is free to go. As he leaves, he says that they can’t coddle these kids. They’re drunks because they’re weak.
The counselor tells Geri’s parents that Miss Laine came to him yesterday at considerable risk to herself. She told him that she’s a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. She’s putting herself on the line for Geri. Miss Laine wants Geri’s parents to understand that she can’t say whether anyone is an alcoholic or not. But everything she’s observed about Geri leads her to believe that she has a problem with alcohol. Her father, Captain Clueless, says that he knows his daughter and if she had a drinking problem, he’d know it.
I mean, hello? Where the hell have you been? Girlfriend is ALWAYS drunk now. And even your son has been trying to tell you.
He goes on. If she has a few drinks now and then, at least it’s not pot. At least it’s not hard drugs. Good Grief. Miss Laine tells Captain Denial that alcohol is a liquid drug. And it’s not a matter of now and then. Geri drinks a lot. She’s getting herself in trouble, and she’s failing her classes. She has blackouts and very bad hangovers. They’ve all seen them. And they know for a fact that she’s been keeping liquor in her locker.
Geri’s dad looks at her and asks her if that’s true. She shakes her head and says that Mrs. Laine exaggerates it all out of proportion. The counselor says that this is very serious and he wants Geri to promise to let Miss Laine help her. It’s well established that Geri lies, and now they want her to pinky swear? Are you trusting a girl with a thermos of booze in her locker to keep a promise?
Miss Laine says that Geri has to learn something about alcoholism. Her father wants to know how. Miss Laine responds by reading, talking to people, and perhaps going to some meetings. Geri’s dad practically sneers. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings? He shakes his head. She also tells him about AlAnon, an organization that helps the families of alcoholics. Geri’s dad isn’t feeling it. His daughter isn’t an alcoholic, and he doesn’t want her associating with those kinds of people.
Handling It at Home
Geri’s Dad says that they can handle Geri at home, with the family. The counselor says that it’s up to him, but they’re going to be keeping an eye on Geri.
Outside of the school, Geri’s dad loses it. He says he doesn’t want to do anything like that again. There will be no more drinking. Not out. Not home. Not anywhere. She’s too young. She can’t handle it and if she’s so weak, she doesn’t know when to quit, maybe she shouldn’t drink at all. He thought he brought her up to be a good kid. He still thinks he has. He tells her they’re going to do it “our way.” That Geri is going to stop drinking. No alcohol, no beer, no wine. He tells her if she doesn’t quit, she WILL wind up with those bums in AA. He tells her to use her willpower.
Also, I want to throw it out there that we haven’t seen Dave since he told her to hush up about Sophie. I don’t miss him.
The Late Great Me Uses Her Willpower
Geri is studying. I’m not sure where. She can’t focus. She walks into Miss Laine’s room and says, “Will you help me?” Miss Laine hugs her and says she’s been waiting for her to say that. Geri sobs on her shoulder.
At her home, with Geri, Miss Laine is blending something. Tiger’s milk. A lot of protein. Geri told Miss Laine she stopped drinking when her dad said, so she guesses she’s not an alcoholic. She says that plenty of kids drink and she feels good when she drinks. She can talk and dance. Does that make her an alcoholic? Miss Laine tells her she has. to decide that for herself. How is Geri supposed to know when Miss Laine is the one with all the answers?
Miss Laine goes to a shelf and takes a book down. She tells Geri that they are questions that AA asks. Geri wants to know if she answers those questions, she’ll know whether or not she’s an alcoholic? Miss Laine tells her she’ll have a fair idea and asks her if she’s afraid to find out. They sit down, and Geri tells her to go ahead.
Q & A With the Late Great Me
Miss Laine asks Geri if she ever loses time from work (school) because of drinking. Geri says no, and Miss Laine asks her if she ever stayed home with a hangover. Yes, yes, Geri has. Is drinking making her home life unhappy? Geri guesses so. Her parents are upset, and her brother won’t talk to her anymore. Is that drinking affecting her reputation? Geri says that she’s never had so many friends. All of her friends drink, and she’s really popular with them. She never had a good time with other kids before. Miss Laine asks her if she feels good about herself. Geri says that she never felt good about herself before. She was really uncomfortable with other kids. Miss Laine asks again if drinking makes her feel good about herself. And it doesn’t.
Miss Laine next asks about her reputation with people outside of her juicer social circle – her teachers and other kids. Geri says she wants to just skip them.
Next question: do you ever feel guilty about drinking? Geri doesn’t feel guilty about drinking. Just the things she does when she drinks. “Like throwing your shoes across restaurants?” Miss Laine asks. “Other things,” Geri tells her. Stuff she doesn’t want to talk about. Miss Laine puts that in the yes column.
Does Geri crave a drink at a certain time of the day? Geri tells her there’s no set time. Does Geri crave a drink in the morning? Indeed, Geri does. Has Geri ever lost a memory when drinking? All the time. Is drinking jeopardizing her job (school)? Miss Laine knows the answer to that. She asks if Geri has ever been to a hospital or institution as a result of her drinking, and no, Geri hasn’t.
AA says that if you answer yes to three or more questions, you have a definite problem with alcohol. Geri answered yes to eight of them.
Geri Sits in on Alcoholics Anonymous
Miss Laine takes Geri to an AA meeting. They sit in the back of the room and listen until it’s over. Miss Laine asks Geri if she hated it a lot, and Geri asks her how often she comes. She comes twice a week, but when she started, it was every day. Geri channels her dad and says that she’s not like those people. Miss Laine tells her you get used to it, and you even get to enjoy the meetings. She says it helps her to share problems with other people. Geri doesn’t think she has a problem, but Miss Laine begs to differ.
At home, Geri’s father wants to smell her breath. She passes the human breathalyzer. Her father says he doesn’t like it any better than she does, and he wants to trust her. But guess what is hidden in Geri’s closet. Yes. You guessed right.
A Juicer Birthday
It must be Geri’s birthday, and she’s celebrating with the juicers. Dave is putting a necklace on her and saying something about her having it under control. Apparently, Geri only drinks on weekends. A bunch of juicer girls bring out a birthday cake, and Geri blows out the candles. She raises her glass and makes a toast, “to the late great me!” She and Dave kiss. How’s she ever going to pass her dad’s sniff test?
Dave drops Geri off at her house, and she staggers across her front lawn. Instead of going in, she takes a big drink from the bottle she’s carrying and gets into a car that I assume belongs to someone in her family. She finishes what’s in the bottle and feels around for the keys. This is not going to go over well at all.
Reaching Rock Bottom
Geri starts up the car and takes it for a spin. She laughs as she careens across the road, but isn’t laughing anymore after she busts through a roadwork barricade. She exits the car, staggers around it for a bit, and then staggers to a payphone. Hmm. Who gets the call, and will she remember it afterward? It’s Miss Laine. She answers the phone and accepts the charges. Geri yells incoherently into the phone, and Miss Laine tells her she’ll be right there.
I guess we are at Miss Laine’s house. Geri is in bed. She tells Miss Laine that she’s weak because she drank. Miss Laine says that she’s not weak and people don’t drink because they’re weak. She was in trouble, and she called for help. There’s nothing wrong with that. Geri wants to know why Miss Laine bothers when she’s so awful. Miss Laine assures Geri that she’s very much worth it.
It’s the next morning. The bell rings, and it’s Geri’s parents. They ask how she is, and Miss Laine says she’s fine, just a little shaken. Her mom says she brought her some clothes, and Geri thanks her. “Look at you,” her dad whines. “You’re just a kid.” He wants to know why she drinks. And she said because Dave was drinking and she wanted him to like her. She said drinking just seemed to be making things easier. But it’s worse, and she wants to stop. She has to stop. She said she needs help. Miss Laine breaks in and says Geri is right. She needs professional help. She has a long road ahead of her, and it’s not easy. She needs support
Not Late, Not Great, Just Me
Geri’s Dad doesn’t understand how something like this happens. She’s just a kid. Miss Laine explains that there are a lot of pressures for kids. To be popular, pretty, hip, and get good grades is not easy on most kids. All we can do is be sensitive to their problems. Geri’s Mom tells her she can do this, and Geri says she has to. Her mom says she’ll help her, and they hug.
The family pulls into the driveway. Dave is outside waiting for Geri. His dad tells her the first thing they do is get rid of Dave, and Geri says that she’ll take care of it. Geri walks over to Dave and his creepy van while her dad glares at Dave.
Dave looks at Geri’s bruised face and wants to know what happened. He said he was really worried about her last night. He never saw her like that before. Geri says that it was really bad. She’s scared and has to stop drinking. Dave says she always says that. Geri says she means it this time. She tells Dave she has to stop seeing him because all they do is drink together. He asks her if she’s kidding. She kisses him quickly and says to come back if he quits and walks away. He calls out that he’s going to quit when he’s 18, and she continues walking.
We end The Late Great Me in the same place we started; at AA, where Geri is finishing her story. She says there is no late, no great, just me.
